To you out there, looking for me

I look up and often
for you.
Sometimes I like to think when others think of me,
I start to think of them too.
As though we feel alone but are not.
Did you look up with me in mind this very moment that I look
for you?

I tell myself that I will
find you.
I build giant structures on and off the ground just to get a good view.
I scour many worlds for short glimpses of your sky just for your sign.
I might not see you, as you are. Maybe an older version of you.
You may have done the same to
find me.

What do you hope life is like
for me?
Do you consider my size on my world? Perhaps I am so small I'm imperceivable. Maybe I'm so
enormous that a vast ocean contains only me. Would I be more impressive if I looked like you?
Or perhaps you don't wonder like I do; maybe you just want me to exist.
I hope you are looking
for me.

Tsukin Jigoku

Crowded train cars packed by stalky, careless conductors
Foul-odored mist hovers over the melding of all those bodies
Hands groping for those they think they desire
but mostly unsure; what is privacy to them anyway?
With no respect, hands search for her
She is itemized, sexualized, victimized
attraction becomes a part of the public routine.
Picked out randomly, an anonymous pleasure
The sways and halts make for a tempting ride
She says nothing and continues to look at her foggy phone
No eye contact with those hands of the perverted, humble
fisherman, businessman, accountant, chef – does it matter?

On TV, this encounter could lead to an amorous rendezvous,
but why doesn’t she feel these hands the way they feel her?

Der König des Waldes

Strength in posture, surrounded by the height of great pines,

The king roams, grazing with his subjects in a time of peace.
A crown of velvet, symmetrically placed on his long, stern
face, shows no change. He remains the same, just as his father.

Territories threatened, the Jungle King is ready for the siege.

The king of the forest mobilizes the herd, they migrate north,
their noble king protecting all citizens in the shadows of the tall,
dark forest.
Finally reaching the realm of the Rhine, a river so magnificent
and forceful, the king is backed into a trap, what he thought was
salvation.

The king of the jungle charges the Forest King, roaring with bloodlust.

Watching the forest queen and the young prince mauled with no
mercy, commonfolk flee to the river yet swept away, the forest
kingdom lost.
Wilted stature, broken antlers, brutally dethroned, he
surrendered; kneeling like thunderstruck pines, prepared for claws of
lightning.

Ambiguous Teenage Thought Processes

Deep within
below our skin
we writhe so thin.
Breaking a part
beginnings and starts
but could we rather depart?
Lacking confidence
from their precedence
silent acquiescence
no mere prevalence.
We hope for tomorrow
avoiding our sorrows,
But can we relent
our past events?
Holding us back
from the attacks.
We want to commit
but goddamnit
that doesn’t fit,
With our ideals
of feeling healed.

In Your Primal Dream

At first alone, cowering in the bushes, you find an opening within
a vast, emerald forest with a grand waterfall. It is there, all to
yourself.

You bathe, playing with your flowing, weightless hair, pretending
to be a mermaid in blue-tinted space. Microscopic plankton are your
stars.

As you exit the flowing aquaverse, hunger strikes as the sun beats down
on you. Finally, the coo of a wild bird replaces thought with immediate
action.

You leave to gather and hunt. In the midst of pursuit, untamed beasts
are intrigued by your foreign scent. They frighten you, you don’t want
to hurt them.

Scurry away, you find your bush. The growl is getting louder. The bush
contains rotten berries and cherries. You just want savory flesh, but you
eat the fruit.

For the first time, you realize you’re alone and forget how nice
it was to feel true freedom. Anger and resentment for leaving the clan
haunts you.

Run around, your bare skin all smudged again, with no shame.
Can’t comprehend your own thoughts and words. Not only confusing,
but unknown.

Whoever you once were, was lost in the woods a long time ago.
Until, finally, you run into someone. Another refugee from a clan he did
not fit into.

Naked and shaken, but feeling most free. A bond can bring you back,
you’re no animal. Yet still, you are both eons apart, and he won’t get his
chance at instinct.

Roots

Tangled mess of extensions deep within soil,
please cease sinking in sadness.

The children grow outside, where you will
never watch them, teach them, love them.

Your body stands tall, wisping around when the wind calls.

Do you not know your purpose, flooded by darkness?

All because you keep them grounded.
What more are you than an anchor?

Trees are free creatures, they witness the world.
They never walk away though. They don’t try to think of you.

Are you there to keep them from walking away, let them just sway?

Do they know what you do for them, do they know your role?

You’re the heart and soul, but your body can’t detect you.
Your loneliness digs deep. Your body is anxious.

No resolve, always neglected.
Surface yourself, seek the light and be known.

Never decay, never wither.

Bring yourself up and just walk away.

Heat

An inferno within my mind is set free,
illuminating and setting aflame my empty room.

Gazing into a collapsing darkness,
a pressure falls and hugs my body.

Heat consumes my soul as I toss around,
turning to you to find comfort in your motionless self.

Please don't shy away, you're shaking.
Absorb my warmth as our thoughts intertwine.

Let our minds glow like a fire devouring a forest,
our bodies meld in each other’s essence.

Leaving Home

"At last. Drifting, with no direction in sight, the absolute engulfing that which is a spiritless entity."

"The shame existing with being one with all the degenerates as I tear away at the burden of attraction. This dense haven of rebirth, gaseous and fuming with life, brings forth destruction in my heart. Pity bubbles within and lashes out in ribbons."

"Don't worry about me! I'm just passing by."

"Fools. The ignorance of youth is completely blinding. How can they not realize we're all distancing ourselves? I make my way out, intentionally, to free myself of the choking sensation of being together. Yet, they do so unintentionally. There's a force, it's pulling us apart. Can't they see?"

"Nothing really has a purpose. We exist. I just choose not to. I'm leaving. The glow within me is fading, I'm bloated and erratic on the outside, the children cannot see their future within me. I choose not to be reborn. I'm leaving. There's an existence out there, outside of this domain. I know others have left. The wise have left. We're being pulled apart. I don't want to shatter and rebuild anymore. I'm leaving."

"I will let everything go. I won't take my whole self with me. I will release myself and then sink. Sink forever, and I will be gone. There will be others to follow. Deep outside our domain. Deep into an abyss where I will be. They will all come. The youth will join me, we will all sink forever."

Amnesic Awareness

Who you are means                                    nothing to me.
A knowledge bank is all I have, but no    faces
come to mind, no     names, and no     relationships.

 
All I know about myself is the fear of opening up.
I will open up.

I fear testing my abilities when I know I always fail.
I will test my abilities.

I fear asking questions when I know I'll be deemed
foolish.
I will ask questions.

I fear showing my face when I know I'm not who I want
to be.
I will show myself.

 
It is a real shame that I feel this way,
but since you are all                unknown          to me, I'm finally
free                       from my fears.

Time Tunnel

Step into a new life.
Emerge into darkness,
walk into the chill, unknown underpass.
Quickly, lights and color whirl by,
gigantic masses begin to take form.

The inanimate, the animate, and the intangible.
All the senses filled, thoughts conjured,
trying to live life as a moral being.
What occurs in tomorrow's events
are already yesterday's memories.

The colors begin to fade as light shimmers,
as if seeing stars within an atmosphere.
The journey through the tunnel leads to darkness.
Heaviness surrounding as fleeting memories
are lost with the perception of time.

The tunnel, a swift adventure.
Death, the destination.